Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize