You just made me feel so damn special
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
