Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
