whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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