You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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