well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She's not a foreskin expert like you
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
