I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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