hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
