I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
