but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Im part way to drunk.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
