I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
