why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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