i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
