girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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