You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
