Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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