I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize