we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
