Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
