Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
