Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
