i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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