Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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