in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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