i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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