I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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