so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
