HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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