Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
