I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
