You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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