PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
