If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
