glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
