my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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