I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
