Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
