Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
