my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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