tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
