I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
