he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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