Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
