Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
