That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
