I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
