do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Come see our sink grown plant.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
