I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
