Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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