I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
