i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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