i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm like, not good at living.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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