its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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