My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
two words: eviction party
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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