Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize