I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's blow job season.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
