alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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