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my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
